The Pragmatician

Don’t you hate naggers?
Nagging people get on your nerves, don’t they?
They just never stop nagging and complaining…
They are too unpragmatic about things.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about my daughter” she groans.
“How am I to take care of this problem”? they mutter.
“I wish he’d stop complaining about his job everyday” I hear him.

I wish people would nag someone else.
I want them to quite nagging.
Why can’t they see the good side of things?
Why did I happen to meet them just today?

OMG I'm nagging you, aren't I?

Strong post by Orhtomom on bullying in school.

My first thoughts were that this does not happen in our schools.
Admittedly some kids seem to leave any form of “derech erets”(manners) with the rest of their breakfast cereals , but bullying, no that ‘s too big a word.

I went to a big heimische school for years and nothing of the kind ever happened, and I highly doubt there were cover ups of any sorts.
While I can perfectly well imagine them trying, frankly no one in charge that I remember had the necessary intelligence to orchestrate a decent cover up.

And then I started to think about that kid, who disappeared from one day to the next.
Rumor had it that he had transferred to another school.
Thinking back I see all kinds of awful thing happening to him.
He didn’t get kicked or beaten, this never.
But wasn't he the kid whose pens were always missing just before a test?
Whose briefcase was hidden away? Who hung all by himself in the giant schoolyard?
Did he cry sometimes in class without anyone bothering to ask what was wrong?(not even the teachers btw)?
About whom I reprimanded myself I didn’t make an effort to be nice to, once he had left?

Isn’t this abuse as well?

And this kid who was teased to death by classmates who were imitating his manner of speaking and repeating the same words after him.
Who didn’t know much about sport and was mocked in the same manner as if he hadn’t know the Alpeh –Bais(Jewish alphabet), when an ‘important’ game/match had been played the night before ?

So bullying did happen in my time?
So bullying still happens!

Where are the teachers, Rabbis, principals, school counselors etc… in all of this?
If I have such vivid memories of kids and young adults publicly humiliating classmates, if then I wasn’t mature enough to comprehend how wrong and detrimental this was, where were the Rabbis? Why didn’t they put a stop to the bullies? How come they punished me for speaking during Tefillah (praying) but didn’t punish the boy that had made another 14 year old cry?


So who still thinks my idea of home-schooling is so bad now?

I don’t get away much. But when I do, boy do I appreciate and enjoy it a lot. Even more so when no airports, planes and overweighed luggage come into play.
To my Israeli readers: I love to visit, but the schlep is just too great. I understand thee need for extensive security measures, I understand airport personnel expect everyone to be fluent in Hebrew and with some effort can even understand being held up by a police woman after I thought I had passed all the ‘tests’, mechanical and human ones
I can, but well that spoils it for me.

I’d like to take a minute to thank everyone for your very supportive messages about my move. It’s not over yet, but there’s some light at the end of the tunnel.

My favorite books, my computer, my board games (come’on who doesn’t enjoy a nice game of pictionary or monopoly?) are all wrapped up in wrongly labeled boxes which under no circumstances I wish to open until they’re moved to the new place.All I'm left with is a Calvin&Hobbes book which was left in the trunk of the car, and my DVD player.

Watching TV/ DVD is pretty much all I do after work and learning lately.
Not proud of it yet not ashamed either..
I would be hypocritical trying to make you believe I zap exclusively to educational channels and CNN, and I don’t want to be.
I basically burn precious time away every evening with not a guilty bone in my body to be found.
I watch a lot of entertainment shows, I try not to miss a single episode of "Desperate housewives" and "Lost" can be a reason to stay in rather than to go out.
When trying to count all the hours spent in front of the ‘tumene kestel”(impure box) as my school Rebbi’s euphemized it, I get somewhat sad.
A couple of years ago I was learning with someone who now I see had a tremendous influence on me.
Spontaneously from one day to the next I chose not to watch TV anymore.
It didn’t go gradually like one would expect when breaking a habit, it was from everyday to no day at all.
When reminiscing, I can’t image how I did it.
How from being a light TV addict I became the biggest anti TV frummie.
I didn’t watch, nor to be honest lest anyone here think I overcame a humongous challenge, had a particular urge to, for a year and a half.
I just felt it was not interesting, not worth my time that was probably used for much more productive ends.

I wonder if I should try that again but .....
The problem is, I can’t remember what drove me then and what on earth I was doing with all my spare time?
I can’t pinpoint the reason and the moment I started to watch again either.

I’ve had this amazing experience and now I can’t even use it as a tool for further growing…

I apologize for having neglected this blog for as long as I did.
And for failing to read the greats posts floating on J-blogs and adding my two inquisitive and pragmatic cents.


For those of you who picture me as a composed person, who manages to remain calm in the face of awkward and unpleasant situations, that person who tells others not to get all hysterical and panicky, well then you’ve got it right.
Unfortunately I myself am unable to see myself like that anymore.

I’ve never had to be part of a serious move before, and albeit a lousy excuse, it’s still the best one I can come with for my attitude and behaviour during them move.
If I ever needed a Pragmatician PHD by my side it was then...
I got nervous, paranoid and depressed.
Three elements totally ruinous for a Pragmatician.

A soon as one box was filled with the –where and why the hell
did we get this thing- stuff , I looked around to bask in the bareness of the drawer we emptied only to get the impression the room seemed to contain more stuff it did before we started packing.
I swore, cursed and yelled.
Three more characteristics of a Non-Pragmatician.

Thinking of the approaching day of the actual move I got more and more depressed thinking it would never get done.
As a last resort I appealed to friends to help with packing and schlepping.
Since I’m blessed with such great and mostly extremely busy friends, they all had something way more important to do than helping out (guess who won’t get an invitation for Shabbes in my new place)
Vindictiveness, not befitting a Pragmatician.

I cried, I yelled some more and breathed a loud sigh of relief when it seemed the work was over.
The good thing was that I got to experience that wonderful feeling of relief twice cause it dawned on me that the kitchen which had two refrigerators and 1 freezer still needed emptying and cleaning.
I rolled my eyes, asked ‘why me’? and ate as much as I could.
I’m just grateful (Pragmatics slowly finding its way back) no one was around to film me, this episode would damage my reputation immensely.
Although to be honest sometimes I wonder if anyone really notices that I’m "The Pragmatician" (perhaps one day PHD)?

PS. Define Irony: The word ‘blog’ is correct by Blogger’s dictionary.

I haven’t given up on blogging, it’s just that I’ve been unusually busy lately plus my home computer being in a moving box doesn’t help.
The Pragmatician will be back soon IY’H.