The Pragmatician

TRADEMARK, BRANDING, STEALING

I apologize for not posting more often; it does have the advantage of giving me time to think over subjects to post about and edit them properly.

There’s this soft drink that I love. Actually not to trample the very first rule of the (in)famous 12 steps, am addicted to.
I’m not talking about coca cola, which I consume in bigger measures than healthy but a brand of Orange Juice mixed with a couple of other fruits, no grapes of course.
Tropical mixes of juice are readily available from hundreds of brands, but this is the only one that I want (hou hou hou).
I’m not much of a brand person in general. Shirts, clothing, electric instruments, cars, Hollywood and the music world I usually couldn’t care less..
I rarely follow any sort of hype. I like the music that I choose; I don’t listen to the radio waiting for their subliminal messages ordering me which music to enjoy and buy.
I buy a pair of shoes that fit me and suit me, not because a TV ad said I must. As a matter of fact the Hemische store I frequent probably doesn’t even carry most advertised shoes. And I wouldn’t dream of selecting my car just on the basis that James Bond drove with it in his latest lackluster.

My wife and I argue every time I have the bad luck to accompany her on a shopping spree.
She says she needs that skirt or that pair of boots, because they’re the latest fashion
The latest fashion! How I hate that sentence.
With the free spirited attitude of women today, you would think they wouldn’t let some Italian guy dictate them what to wear?
Why is something from last year, that still fits no good anymore? The colors have changed? The style has changed? Who cares? Aren’t (nice!) clothes meant to be a means of coverage in the first place?
Isn’t clothes primary function to shelter us from the cold and other elements?
I know the female readers might think I’m irrational, and for the record my wife wears the latest fashion. Those that are affordable that is.

I’ve bought an mp3 player from a totally unknown brand and hadn’t I lost it, heaven knows where, it would still work perfectly. It was one of 256MB(approx 70 songs), had I bought one from Sony in the same price range I would’ve gotten a 128MG one (40 songs). Twice the music for the same price, its look is less flashy, I’ll give you that.

My reading glasses (2+, any eyeglasses mate?) cost about $2,50. True, I don’t always look so good in them, but there’s no stress about losing or breaking them. My friend who’s an optician, attempted to convince me to buy a pair in his store, knowing that he could use the money, I acquiesced and paid $200 for the same, confirmed by the optometrist, object.
I do have a nicer frame now, but am terrified to loose or damage it.

Orange juices tastes differently, it has a real functional benefit, most other categories of consumption, especially jewelry, merely serve to fulfill an emotional/ psychological (psychosocial in marketing jargon) benefit.
I am very aware of the importance of self esteem and feeling good about oneself. I have read all of Rabbi Twerski’s, who’s an expert on the issues of self esteem, books and agree on many points with him.
If however you need a $2000 watch and follow the latest trends in all areas to make you feel good about yourself, it will probably not help on the long run.
I know this kid who got an Ipod when it was all new and that helped boost his popularity among his peers, now everyone has one and the poor kid needs something new and flashy to draw his classmates attention back to him.
Question of the week, are you into brands and trends? Why and how far are you willing to go?

LOST YEARS SPENT LEARNING HOW TO SPELL

I was always annoyed during spelling classes. Writing is just another communication tool isn’t it?
So the whole point is to understand what the writer is trying to say.
Who cares if the writer chooses to write “attenshion” rather than attention?”
Why should it matter if you write “to who” instead of “to whom”?
In my uneducated opinion it shouldn’t matter and if you disagree, which is your perfect right,
try and read the following, if you still find spelling important, please explain:

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a! wrod
are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

FUNNY, YET NOT SO AMUSING ANECDOTE

I hate garlic, ketchup, pompous people and OVERTIME.
Of the many complaints my colleagues and myself get is that the work is not done fast enough. Mysteriously reports that are not needed for weeks are suddenly urgent at the end of a long and exhausting day.
They might admit we’re not machines but since we get to work with machines, we are expected to operate at ADSL or at the very least Cable speed.
We discussed and came to the conclusion that we would easily be able to accomplish much more had it not been that our superiors keep interrupting our work with various silly and disruptive to our concentration and flow of work, side jobs.
Bring this letter to the post office (work related), call my kid’s school (private), find out, I don’t care how, about this and thats.
Today it was a call to a Bank Card company to order a new card (semi-private), since the last one had expired.
I knew from experience that getting hold of a live person at such a company requires more patience than waiting in line for the popular attractions at Disneyworld during high season. But orders are orders.
Finally I got through to a surprisingly helpful telephone operator explaining the problem, which sadly not so surprisingly turned out to be non existent.
“The card is still valid for another year sir", she says.
I couldn’t have been more astonished.
I call the superior in question on his cell and pass on the message. He takes another good look at his card and exclaims: ”Oh , now I understand, all this time I was looking at the date of issue! Funny, don’t you agree?”
Very funny indeed as long as you won’t ask me with your usual accusing tone at 6 Pm why report X hasn’t been taken care of yet!
And they wonder why we don’t get more work done!! Arghh Frustrating.

LESSON IN GRATITUDE:
I'M THANKFUL

I got this beautiful text in my email box and wanted to share it with my blog readers.
I anticipate you will enjoy it as much as I did.

I'm Thankful

For The Wife Who Says It's Hot Dogs Tonight,
Because She Is Home With Me,
And Not Out With Someone Else.

For The Husband Who Is On The Sofa Being A Couch Potato,
Because He Is Home With Me And Not Out At The Bars.
For The Teenager Who Is Complaining About Doing Dishes
Because It Means He Is At Home,
Not On The Streets.

For The Taxes I Pay
Because It MeansI Am Employed.
For The Mess To Clean After A Party
Because It Means I Have Been Surrounded By Friends.

For The Clothes That Fit A Little Too Snug
Because It Means Have Enough To Eat.

For My Shadow That Watches Me Work
Because It Means I Am Out In The Sunshine

For A Lawn That Needs Mowing, Windows That Need Cleaning, And Gutters That Need Fixing
Because It Means I Have A Home.

For All The Complaining I Hear About The Government
Because It Means We Have Freedom Of Speech..

For The Parking Spot I Find At The Far End Of The Parking Lot
Because It Means I Am Capable Of Walking And I Have Been Blessed With Transportation.

For My Huge Heating
Bill Because It Means I Am Warm.

For The Pile Of Laundry And Ironing
Because It MeansI Have Clothes To Wear.

For Weariness And Aching Muscles At The End Of The Day
Because It Means I Have BeenCapable Of Working Hard.

For The Alarm That Goes Off In The Early Morning Hours
Because It Means I Am Alive.
And Finally, For Too Much E-Mail
Because It Means I Have Friends Who Are Thinking Of Me.

If you ask me the person who wrote these lines is blessed with lots of wisdom and a profound philosophic mind

BATTLE FOR THE HAPPIEST


Pesach several years ago, beautiful hotel, in the middle of nowhere, only a few locals looking at us with a million questions but unable to communicate them, and nothing to do but eat and sleep.
I was bored a lot of the time, luckily for me however I got to know some nice people with whom I proclaimed I was going to stay in touch with, but never did.
One of the guests was a young man I knew that had recently gotten married.
As far as I knew he was an ok guy, not noted for anything special neither from a positive nor form a negative outlook.
He left his mark on the hotel and its guests however by something that was noticed by everyone present, he never let go off his wife, very literally.
Whenever they were together he touched her caressed her and held her hand.
Now assuming she wasn’t a Niddah, there’s absolutely no Halachic(Jewish Law) problem with this behavior as far as I know.
And therefore I’m not criticizing his conduct.
On the other hand this is generally not done among heimische (modern orthodox/orthodox) people.
It’s well known that intimate gestures between spouses, however small, are strongly encouraged, but only in private space.

You may agree with this or disagree, you may find it archaic and fundamentalist that’s not the point, the fact is that many (most?) modern orthodox couples will make efforts to behave modestly in public areas.

I was reminded of this story when a friend told me that at a Shevah Berachah(one of the 7 meals after a wedding) he had attended, he sat at a table with two or three couples that couldn’t stay off each other. His wife and himself have always made efforts to conduct themselves with dignity and modesty and consequently he felt a little embarrassed and uneasy at that table.
This led to a discussion about the issue, and he confided that what he had witnessed had made him self-conscious about his own marital situation.
They seemed so in love, so attached to one another, and while proud that he didn’t stoop to imitate them he was slightly jealous.

At this point I’d like to clarify that it is not the objective of this article to debate whether intimate and kind gestures are appropriate for frum people in public.

Rather I brought it up, because to reassure my friend and because I wonder whether there’s isn’t a particle of truth to it, I told him that while practically making out in public or not letting go off your spouse may seem like an indication of a perfect relationship, it could equally be the work of oscar-deserving actors.
After all, as I said, this is generally not done in heimische circles. Why do they try so hard? Who are they really trying to convince they are happy?
I know many couples that are very happy together yet you don’t see them holding hands on the street, you do however notice the gleam in their eyes and the genuine shared smiles passing between them. That is real!
At some point I was wondering that perhaps those who make such efforts to be noticed are really the ones that are insecure about their relationships.
They overdo it to show everyone that they’re happy, but it doesn’t emerge as naturally as it does from authentically happy couples.
So this is my question to you bloggers, considering you will attract attention, is acting this way a result of insecurity and a need to prove something? Or is just a natural consequence of deep affinity and love.

RINGING and JINGLING

It has been the longest time since I’ve had a chance to go out to a nice (ex- quiet) restaurant with my wife.
It wasn’t one where they politely request the guests to shut down, or hand over their phones and I was glad it wasn't.
I once forgot my cell phone home, unable to recuperate it until the evening, and throughout the day I felt an anxiety and nervousness I hadn't felt since the time a woman with a burqa appeared to be on my flight.
I like knowing where it is at any time of the day and night. No one can ever say they couldn't reach me.
I check my voicemail repeatedly and when slightly important reply promptly.
Sounds a little neurotic I know… But what human being is without faults?

I owe my drivers' license to the invention of the cell phone.
No way would I have dared to drive alone the first few times, if not for that reassuring sense of security.
Cell phones, still relatively expensive, are so much part of normal life that anybody who doesn't own one is seen as nothing less than an introvert or rebel.
While in fact precisely they are to be admired.
Everybody got a long well before the advent of the cell phones, didn't they?
There are so many of them to choose from. There's even a 'kosher' version (no kidding) available for the interested public.
However these little (or tiny in some cases) things, ring, to the sound of movie themes or popular hits, all the time. Better said, at all the wrong times.

I spent about an hour in the restaurant, and 10 to 15 minutes of it was used up telling friends and relatives we were there and would call back.
That's only half as bad as this much-too-old for his wife guy who spoke on his cell while his wife was eating (also too much).
Suddenly I wish they would change their policy and require guest to be cell phone free in their restaurant. Imagine the calm, peace and quiet. For neurotics like me there’s still the man’s room.


The sound of ‘Beverly hills cop’ or ‘mission impossible’ during the Shemonah Esrei is all too familiar. The other day I was davening Minchah to the melodious sound of, this is too rich, ‘jingle bells’.
The poor guy actually didn’t know this song (he didn’t see the titanic’ either and doesn’t know what The Mona Lisa is), nevertheless any ring tone, if not as much as this one, is inappropriate when people are trying to concentrate on their prayers.
So I count on you, dear readers, when visiting my blog put all your potential calls on hold, take a moment and read on…
On a different note I’d like to attract more visitors to my blog, so if you’re so kind to link to me I’d be happy to return the favor.

LAUGH ALL YOU WANT

Hi
Hope you all had a wonderful Yom Tov.
Unfortunately I didn't find the time to write a decent post yet.
That doesn't mean however I can't share a few laughs with u guys.

Why ARE Men Happier ?

Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
(ha ha)
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
No wonder men are happier...