Sunday, June 04, 2006
Headlines from the year 2029
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Well, I do not wish anyone dead, but do hope that Castro leaves office before 2029 (at least for the sake of my husband, who is a Cuban Jew.)
Very funny stuff. Unfortunately, the part about Castro might turn out to be true- I keep reading about how healthy he is.
Nice to see you posting more often!
--although, most of them really could make me cry if I dwell on them...
"Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. "
Some more for ya.
After almost six months of deep undercover work, F.B.I. agents successfully raided and closed down a ring off illegal meat dens called "slaughter houses".
“Today marks the 2nd anniversary of New Texas (formerly Iran). In a speech made before the barbeque began Governor George Q. Bush remarked ‘oil production is up, the golf is great and at least it’s a dry heat’.”
“In an effort to increase sensitivity on America’s borders the INS has recently placed refreshment stations every 5 miles along the US-Mexico border. This is the latest effort to improve American – Illegal alien relations. Previous initiatives include ‘Welcome to America’ gift bags and free ferry service across the Rio Grande”
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