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Thursday, July 14, 2005



While for a part ingrained within, it's fairly recently that I was officially labeled a pragmatic thinking person.
My family and friends, most of whom know me from the day I met the sun, just thought of me as a level headed, responsible person. When I met my parents-in-law, at the ripe age of 24, I got upgraded from level- headed to pragmatic.

I spent a lot of time at their place assisting with the arrangements for the wedding, as well as fulfilling a more important role, all the while getting to know each other a little better.
Anyone who's ever worked on organizing a Simcha and having the dubious honor of being crowned the mediator between two parties will know and understand it was nothing short of a nightmare.
Everyone has his/her own idiosyncrasies and meshigassen.
"The hall is not large enough for OUR side”! shouts one.
"The band's not to OUR taste!" yells another.
"You want to poison OUR guests?” says someone who will eat just about anything.
At this point I’d like to add that none of the “OUR”’s were uttered by either the Kallah or the Chosson, just the Mechetonim.

Given that I saw both parties regularly it became my job to work out compromises between them, and I have to say that in the end, amazingly and perhaps thanks to my pragmatic approach, something was worked out that left everyone happy.

They (A) wanted a large hall to accommodate an endless stream of guests, while they (B) thought a large hall was too ostentatious.
So I said to A “you know what let's have it in a smaller hall, but you can still have all your friends and relatives, you haven’t spoken to in the last 25 years, over, and I'll just limit myself to three of my good friends.
I meant it then, and not in a sarcastic reproaching way.
I felt that a FEW hours of ONE night in my life wouldn't determine or influence what lay in store for me.
Seeing that I was serious they stopped this particular quarrel, and agreed to a medium sized hall.
And so it went for several weeks, the band, the food, the bridesmaid’s dresses, the number of guests, the time, Mitzvah Dance vs no Mitzvah dance ad infinitum....

It was during the many weeks of intense preparation, when it occurred to all present that I had a very easy going nature, and pragmatic reasoning.
For all of the aforementioned I tried to suggest a middle way, or took side A for the food and side B for the music.

Quite sometime has passed since then but for my sister’s wedding, 'A' finally had their dream hall……….the mechtonim where from out of town, and didn’t know better:)

Yeah, I know it can be a real headache and a royal nuisance. Alavi my parents should have such an ordeal to deal with b'korov.
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